integrity in conversation

A basic skill in developing wisdom and personal integrity, not to mention peace of mind, is speaking and listening skillfully, often remaining quiet, and limiting the topics we discuss.

Gotama Buddha lists several topics to avoid (AN 10:69):

Conversation about kings, robbers, & ministers of state; armies, alarms, & battles; food & drink; clothing, furniture, garlands, & scents; relatives; vehicles; villages, towns, cities, the countryside; women & heroes; the gossip of the street & the well; tales of the dead; tales of diversity, the creation of the world & of the sea;talk of whether things exist or not

Topics he recommends:

Talk on modesty,on contentment, on seclusion, on non-entanglement, on arousing persistence, on virtue, on concentration, on discernment, on release, and on the knowledge & vision of release.

highest blessing 10

Sutta Nipāta   the Maṅgla Sutta  258-272


With a mind that does not waver
Even among the worldly things—
Sorrowless, stainless, and secure.
—This is the highest of blessings.

highest blessing 9

Sutta Nipāta   the Maṅgla Sutta  258-272


Ardor, spiritual behavior,
Seeing the truths that are noble,
And experiencing nibbāna.
—This is the highest of blessings.

highest blessing 8

Sutta Nipāta   the Maṅgla Sutta  258-272

Patience, a gentle character,
And the seeing of ascetics,
Discussing dhamma when timely.
—This is the highest of blessings.

highest blessing 7

Sutta Nipāta   the Maṅgla Sutta  258-272


Respectfulness, humility,
Contentment and gratitude too,
Hearing the dhamma when timely,
—This is the highest of blessings.

highest blessing 6

Sutta Nipāta   the Maṅgla Sutta  258-272


Abstinence from intoxicants,
Diligence among mental states,
—This is the highest of blessings.


The primary reason for being careful about mind altering substances is the impact they may have on consciousness and ability to skillful thinking. Our minds are already vulnerable to manipulation and other causes of delusion. An important defense and gift to our relationships and civic responsibilities is clear thinking.

highest blessing 5

Sutta Nipāta   the Maṅgla Sutta  258-272


Generosity, doing right,
And the helping of relatives,
Doing actions that are blameless.
—This is the highest of blessings.


Doing the right thing does not mean giving yourself away, certainly not compromising your life, health, and well being. To be blameless and generous does not mean fixing anyone else, but offering only what is needed in the moment, usually simply listening, hearing, and being present for others.

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Sutta Nipāta the Maṅgla Sutta  258, 272

Support for mother and father,
And helping both wife and children,
Spheres of work that bring no conflict.
—This is the highest of blessings.


Our personal practices of developing awareness, kindness, and wisdom involve others, those in our immediate circles: family and in work settings. Though we focus on personal transformation, on the one being we can impact, such transformation includes enriching our ability to be present to and with others. There is no problem that can be fully resolved through conflict or force.

Without justice, [patience, and listening] there is no peace.